His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
