Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize