it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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