So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
