i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
