First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
