After last night, I could never be a politician.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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