RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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