so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I want a musical about memes.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
