The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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