We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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