Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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