Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just invented taco cereal.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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