I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
