once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
