Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
