Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize