Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
