i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
