oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
