Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
