return my video game
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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