Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think my vagina is haunted
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize