am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
