Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i out mim tonsoeep
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