I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
