she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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