I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
