You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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