Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
