What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
