just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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