So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
