If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
