bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
