If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
