I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize