talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
