is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
