She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
