I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
