sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
no you cant smoke seaweed
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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