i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
