Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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