so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
