Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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