sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just cut my nipple shaving
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
