tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
