And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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