I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Congratulations! We have a period
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