if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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