I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
