I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
