yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
