So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I want a musical about memes.
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