I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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