THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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