I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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