Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
