Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
